


the pieces of me are pieces of you

by qetbackhonkycat



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qetbackhonkycat/pseuds/qetbackhonkycat
Summary: richard ellis is an interesting man
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis
Comments: 6
Kudos: 73





	the pieces of me are pieces of you

**Author's Note:**

> honestly don't have a clue what this is I'm not gonna lie

Richard Ellis is an interesting man. A man with a well-presented, strict resolve, one which Thomas would be intimidated by if he didn’t know the man he now comes to call his lover. 

Thomas is currently observing said man, from outside of an antiques shop where he is buying a brooch for his mother. Ellis speaks firmly, this he can see. His posture is straight and some-what uptight, as if he were uncomfortable, however Thomas knows this to be untrue. Richard Ellis is a social creature. He comes alive when surrounded by a good number of people. His family, for example. Thomas had never seen so much light and expression in his face up until he was surrounded by his family, the younger members especially. 

Yes, Richard Ellis is a study. A study Thomas quite enjoys researching. He is speaking to the shop assistant, his posture straight but there is a softness - a kindness. Thomas knows this, he knows Richard Ellis to be kind - the kindest man he’s met, if he has to be specific. What Thomas can’t understand is how can the man he knows to be so kind and so gentle seem so stern from the outside? The man he saw waiting for him outside the police station, that man at first glance, is a different man he knows now - truly knows. That man outside the police station frankly terrified Thomas. His expression unreadable, the way his eyes met his own. Is that the man everyone sees the first time they meet Richard Ellis? 

Thomas doesn’t recall feeling intimidated the first moment he set eyes on Richard Ellis at Downton. He was too wrapped up in his role of butler, getting everything to be how it should be. Then, afterwards, when Richard asked him to go into York, the first time, he didn’t really think anything.Though, he does admit, of course he admired the man - the man is gorgeous, anyone would be a fool not to think that upon meeting Richard Ellis. But, he wasn’t struck by the stern valet he is noticing now. 

The store bell rings, signalling that someone is walking out of the door and Thomas is broken off from his pondering of Richard Ellis. 

“Where to next?” Richard questions, smiling at Thomas. 

“You’re an interesting character, Richard Ellis.” Thomas says, ignoring Richard’s question and wondering how he manages and deserves to instantly receive a smile from Ellis as soon as he sees him. 

“Colour me intrigued.” Richard smirks. Thomas knows and adores that smirk. It’s logged as one of his favourite Richard Ellis attributes. 

They’re walking now, not to anywhere in particular. That’s what they often do; walk and chat about nothing much but enjoy it all the same. 

“Like I said. You’re interesting. You come across all stern, maybe not stern - reserved, if you will.”

Richard turned to Thomas, looking puzzled, “what’s brought this about?”

“Don’t know really. I was just watching you there, in the shop and wondering how many people really know you, truly know you.”

“Christ, Thomas, this is all a bit heavy for an afternoon stroll.” 

Thomas huffed a little at that, “Yeah, you’re probably right. Ignore me.”

“You know me. Truly know me, as you so elegantly put it earlier.”

“Hmm?”

“People who know me. You asked how many people know me.”

“Oh. Ignore that, it was just a pointless thought.”

They’re laid in bed, it’s late. Thomas was starting to drift off to sleep. His head, as it usually is, is on Richard’s chest with Richard either running his hand through Thomas’ hair or drawing circles up and down his arm. 

“No, you may have had a point. There aren’t many people who have known me in my life, you being one of the few. My family know me to a degree. They brought me up, they’ve known me throughout childhood, they saw me go off to fight, welcomed me back. They saw me through the aftermath of the war but not truly. I don’t think anyone knows us after that apart from ourselves and even then, we may feel as though we don’t. That’s besides the point. My point is, Thomas, that I hope you feel you know me because I want you to, to know me, truly know me. I have flaws, like every other man, but I feel as though you’d understand them, accept them. I care for you, Thomas. I care for you a great deal and I want you to feel as though you know me.”

"Richard." Thomas moves to lay on his side, to look at Richard, skin still touching to maintain contact, to hopefully make Richard feel comforted.   
"I know you, of course I know you. I mind about you a great deal. No one has ever let me into their life the way you have. No one has told me about themselves, their interests, anything that might seem trivial but not to me. No one has ever known me the way you know me, Richard Ellis. I'm not one for showing myself to others, as you know, but there's something about you, something about you that brings it out of me, and makes me like this, baring my soul to a man late at night."

Richard laughed and rested his forehead against Thomas',"I adore you, Thomas Barrow."

"And I you, Mr Ellis."

"What got you thinking about this?", Richard asks a few minutes later. 

"Just watching you interact in the shop this afternoon. You put on a front -" 

"I could say the same to you, Mr Barrow."

"I do not." Thomas shifted his position, but still staring at Ellis. 

"Yes, you do. You're doing it now. Defensive."

"Yes, well, I don't enjoy being insulted."

"You're not being insulted and anyway, you started it with all the picking apart of how I seem to present myself."

"You just seem so serious, that's all."

"I am serious, as are you. We're in service, we have that resolve."

"You're not like that with me."

"No, I'm not, Thomas, because I'm at home with you. I feel at ease. I'm myself."

Thomas hesitated, "All valid points."

"You're soft, you know that?" Richard reaches for Thomas and pulls him into a hug. 

"I am not soft."

"Yes, you are. Remember, I know you."

Thomas rolled his eyes, "Unfortunately."

"Nothing unfortunate about it, Mr Barrow."

"Perhaps you're right, Mr Ellis. Perhaps it's nice knowing someone after all."

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to go more into depth with what thomas actually wants to tell richard about what he thinks of him but alas I couldn't think of how to word or structure it so you're left with this very basic version


End file.
